Life by Default

Without even knowing it, the vast majority of people are living their life by default, meaning their lives are lived for them, not the other way round. To be truly in control of the life we have been gifted with, we need to lead it and direct it the way we want it and not let circumstances decide its direction for us.

How do we do that?

Well, the first step in this process is the realization that we are not actually in control and that outside influences are running the show for us. Once we recognize there is a problem, we can take steps to make things right.

Start with the Head

When things are not going the way we want them to go, we have to go to the one place that is in control of everything we do: our mind. The mind is the control center of each and every one of us, so it necessarily follows that when we can get that part right, the rest will fall into line behind it.

But what should we do and how should we go about doing whatever it is that we should be doing?

First of all, we have to recognize that we have only one thing in our lives that we truly have absolute and complete control over: our thoughts. We can think anything we want and nothing or no one can force us to think anything else if we don't allow it.

The problem is not so much we are consciously allowing the world to control our thoughts, but we simply are not aware that is exactly what is happening!

We are surrounded by a myriad of stimuli that bombards our senses every second of the day and while our minds do a great job of filtering out most of this "noise" some of it still gets through. For example, it can be almost impossible to be in the same room with a television that's showing some commercials and totally ignore it!

You can turn your back on the visual display but you're still listening to the audio and chances are if it's a well constructed commercial, you're going to remember what you hear and be influenced by it in some way. It may be that days later you find yourself in a store and you'll see the product being advertised and you'll buy it because you have unconsciously convinced yourself you need or want it!

Start Thinking For Yourself

You might already think you are thinking for yourself, but until you've learned how to block out all that external noise that's influencing everything you do, you really don't! So how do you block it all out?

The only way to do it effectively is to stop giving external noise the chance to get into your head in the first place. Now for most of us, climbing a mountain and sitting on a rock in complete isolation to meditate is not an option, although that would be an excellent way to avoid the noise of modern life!

So we have to work on damage limitation as best we can. One way is setting aside a certain amount of time each day that you can call "quiet time" or "me time" where you won't be interrupted and allow yourself to become quiet both inside and out and let your thoughts go blank. Essentially it's meditation you need to be doing but not everyone feels right doing that (or knows how to), but calling it simply time to be alone with your thoughts and then letting those thoughts go quiet is pretty much the same thing, just a different way of looking at it.

Avoid Bad Noise

There is more you can do to cut down on the negativity that surrounds us all. The first place to make the deepest cut of all is in getting away from the TV set. Watching TV just fills your head full of stuff you don't really want in there, with the occasional exception being an educational program, although those are few and far between.

Watching the news is the worst offender because not only does it fill your head full of bad new stories, is triggers the damaging emotions of frustration, anger and gets you in sympathy with what's wrong in the world. Bad idea!

Get away from the TV and if you need to be doing something in its place, read a book! Even reading a novel causes your imagination to get working, where TV does not (it replaces imagination with powerful audio and visual drama). Better still of course is to read an educational book of some description.

Don't read newspapers for the same reason you shouldn't watch the TV news: too much bad news and negativity. You want positivity in your life and you get that by doing things that make you feel happy and positive!

Turning Things Around

When you stop reading and watching news stories, you'll find your life starts to get a whole lot better a whole lot faster. You start to turn things around by turning your back on all the wrongness and badness that's going on in the world that you can do nothing about (aside from get angry about it, which does you no good at all).

When you start using that time to educate yourself or to engage in pursuits that bring you pleasure and happiness, your life naturally follows a happier line and you literally magnetize yourself to happier things.

Anyone can do this and it really doesn't take a lot of hard work, sacrifice or intelligence to pull it off. Essentially, its down to making the decision that you want to change your life for the better and then setting about doing whatever it takes to do it.

Can I or Can't I?

What is it that you are not sure as to whether you can or can't do? Maybe we have an example right here to allow you to stop fretting over a dilemma that on reflection, turns out to be not such a big deal.

Or maybe it is a big deal, but our helpful tips might just dispel any mysteries or concerns you may be mulling over.

At the end of the day, life shouldn't be taken too seriously or it loses its wonder and its sense of fun and adventure. What is a journey without some obstacles along the way to make it interesting after all?

It's all a part of the tangled web of life that we occupy along our own individual journeys and there will always be aspects of that journey that throw up dilemmas to test us and give us a sense of achievement.

So if you find you have come up against a barrier to your progress that has you wondering whether you should or should not do something, then take comfort in the fact that we all come across then from time to time. Getting past them with some satisfaction is the best part of this game of life we all play.

Some win, others not. Do you want to win?

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